It’s that time of year again. But with all the joyfulness and cheer comes the stress of how to handle our family’s ceaseless questions when visiting home for the holidays. You know the kind that somehow make you feel unworthy in an instant. Grandparents mean well when they say, “But you are so much more talented than all those other blondes I see on TV!” They don’t realize how unhelpful their words can be. We are here to help you navigate your way through a pain free holiday by giving you advice on how to handle the most stressful family questions with ease! Keep reading “Surviving Your Trip Home For The Holidays” and save your sanity this Winter…

Know it is completely natural to want your family’s approval. That is an innate want in all of us. Is it natural? Yes. But helpful? No. Sometimes we just have to come to peace with the fact that certain family members will never approve of our life choices, regardless of how successful we are. And guess what? That’s okay. It may be painful at times, it may make dinner conversation hard to swallow, it may create some awkward moments of silence — But this is the time to remember it is okay to agree to disagree.

It is not the time to question your life choices. If a family member says something that hits a nerve with you, write it down to think on later. Later later, like when you are miles away from said person. When you are feeling frustrated and like a lonely loser in Minnesota is NOT the time to make big decisions like whether or not you should continue pursuing your comedy dreams!

The most important thing to recognize is that many of your family members are never going to understand where you are coming. Never ever. That is if they aren’t artists themselves. Most are coming from a completely different background, culture, and time. Our careers don’t progress in a slow, linear fashion like others. And our identities and souls get wrapped up in our work so that our failures and successes often mean more than theirs do. So hey, you might as well look at it as if you are speaking two different languages all together. If you can remember this and stop trying to win them over, you’ll save yourself a lot of grief. Agree to disagree and move on to enjoying grandma’s famous bread pudding.

Be prepared to answer the questions you know they are going to ask. C’mon you know people will ask, “What have you been up to?” and “”How is the acting going?” Instead of having the gut wrenching moment where you’re stuck searching for words, prepare your answers in advance. Almost how you would for an interview. It may sound crazy, but it will save you a lot of stress and heartache. Just keep it concise and casual. Keep the top 5 things you’ve done lately fresh in your mind.

Remember, it’s all in how you spin it! If you feel like you haven’t done much outside of class, don’t fret. Think of how different it will feel saying, “I’ve just been taking scene study classes” versus “I’ve been performing Chekhov’s most challenging scenes bi-weekly on stage with LA’s hottest up and coming actors!” No competition there as to which wording will put you and your family member at ease.

Think beyond the Oscar. Okay, so you may not have booked your dream role in the next Tarantino film quite yet, but you are still living the dream in Hollywood! What have you been up to outside of acting? Have you been learning to surf in Malibu? how fabulous! Have you been perfecting your handstands in yoga class at noon each weekday? How cool. A 9-5er would never get to experience these adventures!

Family members want to live vicariously through you! So as much as they poke and prod and bombard us with questions, it is only because they are excited to hear how we are pursuing our dreams. Most people never have that option or never give themselves that chance. So keep in mind that they mean well, even with comments like, “Oh but it’s so competitive!” and respond with, “Yes, but that’s also what makes it so exciting!

Then you can turn your attention on them and ask them how their jobs are progressing, etc. Turn the tables. Let them be in the spotlight for a minute. No pressure, right? Take the time to actually get to know how everyone is doing and share the revelations, challenges, and triumphs you are each facing along the way. You’ll return to LA with a renewed energy, a full belly, and your sanity still perfectly in tact.

Happy holidays!
Megan