Justin Bieber #MyCalvins Scandal
Yeah, so, those days are dead and gone. Fast forward 7 years later and we are publicly disputing the size of his manhood due to some scantily clad Calvin Klein campaign gone awry. In case you were wondering, his personal trainer just wanted you to know,
“I can definitely confirm that he is a well-endowed guy. I sound weird saying that, but yes.”
Yeah, bro. You do, but we appreciate your candid testimony. To give you context, Justin Bieber is the new face of Calvin Klein and the company publicly released the ad campaign featuring the Biebs in some snug-fit boxer briefs. Even though you can’t shake the perception that he is a prepubescent child, Bieber has matured quite a bit (physically, anyway) and appears to be ripped like a young David Beckham. His biceps are bulging, his hands are the size of a bunch of bananas, his head is enormous, and he appears to be “well-endowed” as his trainer awkwardly promises. That’s all lovely, but you know Hollywood: give it a few days and the press will scrutinize every last detail of that photo right down to the cuticles on his hobbit feet. They were going to find something. And they did! This campaign was the butt of every joke. Saturday Night Live made our favorite parody so far.
Celebrity news website BreatheHeavy.com “leaked” the original untouched Calvin Klein photo of Bieber within a few days of the campaign, which sent the media into a shit-talking frenzy about how Justin Bieber and his management team made us believe he’s grown up into the most handsome and buff guy in the industry when he’s really just a weirdly-proportioned, overly-confident noodle. The untouched photo showcases skinny arms, a weak chest, surprisingly normal sized head and hands, and – of course – a smaller package.
Bieber threatened BreatheHeavy with legal retaliation stating that the ‘leaked’ photo was falsified and was damaging his brand (as well as that of Calvin Klein). Assuming they can’t afford a lawsuit, the celebrity news site decided to take the high road and admit they reverse-photoshopped the image to make the singer look puny. Why? We don’t know.
What we DO know is photography. We know exactly what goes into image composition and enhancement. If you approach this issue from a branding standpoint, it almost seems foolish to believe that any branded image is truly ‘authentic’ in terms of being raw and untouched. It’s never ‘what you see is what you get’ when it comes to branding, and it goes far beyond airbrushing.
Movie posters, magazine covers, advertisements for perfume, makeup, clothing, and even cars are all composited. This means that the picture of a car on a billboard is a composite of several of different photos to create the perfect image. More often than not, the chiseled bodies and perfect figures on movie posters do not actually belong to the actors. There are, more or less, a combination of 30 images for any face you see in a magazine ad. You are looking at hours of meticulous photo modification and compositing. Is it ‘authentic’? No, but brands want to be in complete control of how their product looks, and this is how it’s done. Sometime’s the level of honesty can be skewed, but we’re here to set the record straight. Above, you will find the REAL leaked original. Bieber is rumored to have some hormonal issues, so you may notice that he appears to be a little on the voluptuous side… but we don’t discriminate. You do you, Biebs. We’re rooting for you.